God is a woman and she steals from mail trucks

On December 22nd, 2018, God descended from the heavens in the form of a Florida woman and robbed a post office truck. The individual was identified to be 52 year-old Leida Crisostomo of Naples.

Despite wielding divine power and a plastic gun, the culprit was only able to get away with a single package. The getaway item of her choice was not a cloud that ascended into the heavens nor was it even a motorized vehicle; Leida rode away on a tricycle.

While being handcuffed, witnesses say that she was yelling that she was God and that voices were telling her what to do. This is when everyone figured out the lady (yes, I assumed her gender) might just be crazy because if she really were God, no one would be telling her what to do.

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