Sriracha sauce confirmed to contain meth

The mystery to why the famed Sriracha sauce, a staple of many Asian households, has finally been solved: it contains methamphetamine. Recently, four individuals attempted to sneak 880 pounds of meth into Australia in hundreds of bottles of Sriracha sauce.

The Australian Border Force was not aware that meth was commonly known to be one of the active ingredients in the sauce. Officials presumed that the methylamphetamine was headed for a “clandestine lab” in Sydney for extraction. The real question is: why does it even need to be extracted, just eat the sauce.

Bottles of sauce held up at the border self-identified as human, American refugees seeking asylum. While their requests to identify as humans was respected, they were not granted asylum.


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