Horses protest that cars are taking their jobs in Chicago

Say goodbye to one of Chicago’s two most distinct smells: horse manure. Starting in 2021, Chicago will the operation of ban horse-drawn carriages.

“They took our jobs.”
– Horse, speaking on the condition of anonymity

No longer will tourists be able to ride down the Magnificent Mile to the clip-clop of horses pulling outdated carriages through Michigan Avenue. The Horses’ Union of Chicago plan to challenge the City Council’s decision by protesting and blocking the passage of emergency vehicles.

In the motor vehicle-dominated streets of the Chicago, horses feel like they can provide a similar, if not better service. They believe this decision has set Horse-rights back several centuries. Unsure how its going to feed its family, an horse cried that “they took our jobs.”

“They don’t speak for us. It’s nothing but virtue signaling.”
– Horse

Animal rights activities have celebrated the decision claiming that the carriage-horse industry was “abusive and cruel.” When presented with this view, an unnamed horse proclaimed, “They don’t speak for us. It’s nothing but virtue signaling.”

Side note: the other distinct smell of Chicago is chocolate coming from the Blommer factory.


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