My name is Hoang Harry Tran. You can call me Harry, Harold or Roldy. I’m 33 years old and was born on the day Mike Tyson became the youngest heavyweight champion of the world. I originally made this website over a winter break during my undergraduate days since my car was broken and I had nowhere to go. During its prime, the website used to have a bunch of sarcastic, fake articles. I’ve since revamped the content to be lower-quality and slightly more serious.

Educational Background
Here’s a non-chronological list of all the schools I attended minus Robinson Middle School. I’m still salty because my fight scene for our Computer Science project didn’t get nominated for an Oscar. There were many painful outtakes for that scene.

  • 2013: Illinois College of Optometry, Chicago, IL
    • Doctor of Optometry
  • 2009: Illinois Institute of Technology, Chicago, IL
    • Bachelor of Science: Biomedical Engineering
    • Concentration: Neural Engineering
  • 2018: West Texas A&M University, Canyon, TX
    • Master of Business Administration
    • Concentration: Healthcare Administration

Work Experience

  • Optometrist
    • My undergraduate research (eye stuff) led me to pursue a career in optometry.
    • I’ve been practicing optometry for five years.
    • If I could uninvent one thing, it would be contact lenses.
  • Computer Programmer
    • I was a Linux fan in middle school; my distribution of choice was Slackware.
    • The first programming language I learned was C.
    • I made my first website in middle school. It was dedicated to Pokemon and Chocobos. This was before the Dotcom Bubble Burst where crappy websites were making $5-$10cpm in ad revenue.
  • Youth Basketball Coach
    • I coached the Libertyville Ladycats in the Northern Illinois Girls Feeder Basketball Association for two years.
    • Our program usually had some of the best teams; watch out Phil Jackson, I’m coming for you.
    • I’ve since retired aside from the occasional recreational league or individual coaching session these days.

Personal Background
I am 100% Vietnamese, but most of you can probably tell from my deep southern accent that I was born in Georgia. I lived in Georgia just long enough to remember moving to Kansas, where I was actually raised. Contrary to popular belief, Kansas is not all wheat and farms; we gave the rest of civilization Pizza Hut and White Castle. You’re welcome.


  • Basketball: I’m only 5’5” but that doesn’t stop me from trying to play.
  • Biking: I used to ride a Cannondale CAAD8 that I called, “The Patriot Missile.”
  • Running: I ran cross country in high school and like to pretend I’m still fast today.
  • Stocks: I enjoy trading stocks and options; it’s like calculated gambling.
  • Programming: My programming language of choice is C# and IDE of choice is Visual Studio. I will reluctantly use Xcode and Objective-C if needed.
  • Foreign Languages: I like foreign languages. I speak Vietnamese. I’m decent at Spanish and working on Russian.